One of the biggest issues I have working in the film industry is that it is so male dominated.
It is very difficult to be an actress and be taken seriously. As it is, it’s not a place that requires nuclear science, so I have learned the trick of working here now.

I just act dumb and let people tell me what to do.

There are no hassles that way. No reason to get into arguments and discussions, I just tell the directors, “mujhe nahin aata. Aap bolo kya karna hai.” Why should I take more responsibility than I am supposed to? I know my job, and I can do it better than a lot of other people I know. Even then, if there are people keen to teach me what to do, I let them do that.

Mujhe koi problem nahi hai. Like when I was working with Shiney, people were talking about how we didn’t get along because he makes so many suggestions and interferes too much.

He can do that with me and get away, because firstly, I don’t take him seriously. And secondly, I was more a newcomer than he was. So I just listened to him. Maybe later, I might deal with such situations differently.

Another thing that really gets to me sometimes is that I think I am not quite a decent performer, and there is a general consensus about that amongst people. But does that mean talented people get the cream of work? There are so many different factors that go into bagging a role, and talent unfortunately, takes a backseat.

When I see some roles being played by other girls, and they are really kick ass roles that the girls really botch them up. I am like, ‘I believe I could have done that role so much better, it was meant for me’, par nahin, they haven’t even considered me. Are they scared of intelligent women? I have been told that I come across as intimidating to people. Well, that’s why this playing dumb strategy works.

Another nauseating thing really about people here is that they expect you to be nice to them all the time.

They want you to go out with them, attend their parties. And I am like, ‘What for? Are you my best friend?’ See my genuine problem with going for parties is, it’s too much brain work for something that’s supposed to be enjoyed and had fun. Come on, you are supposed to look good because there are cameras all around, then you have to make small talk, remember people’s names and smile politely.

Parties are meant to let your hair down, unwind and have a blast. Idhar ulta hai. It’s so much tension. I feel bad for Akshaye Khanna. He walked out of a party with a drink in his hand, and next day people were talking about him being an alcoholic. What do people expect? That no actor drinks? Or did they expect him to come out of a party praying? Koi meditate karne na thodi jaata hai parties mein.

I think I have done quite well for myself. Coming from my small town background, I think I have come a long way, log jo bhi kahein. And that’s because I believe in myself. I am not one of the suicidal, fragile girls people have stereotyped me to be. If that was the case, I wouldn’t have lasted here even for this long. The day I stop believing in myself and my standing here, I will run away and will never be found by any of you people.

As told to Chhaya S.

- Asianage.com